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Don't tell me that,  I am the only one,  who felt like a paradise,  while it burned like the sun, living in a toxic dream, where love and hurt are the same to me. The more i try to run from it,  The more it tries to pull me in. I love how my heart races,  every time the chaos touches my skin. The poison taste like sweetness,  The sweetness taste like venom, I drink it all the same. The sting feels like a promise - a sweetness only I can define. I lace my hands with fire voluntarily,  the smoke smells like perfume. This shouldn't feel like bleeding, but I ache to feel the pain. Maybe pain feels like devotion -  maybe ruin feels like me.
How strange, to mourn what was never mine.  to feel the weight of empty hands,  as if I'd been robbed - when all I held,  was the shadow of a thing passing through. How strange,  When you left,  I told myself I had nothing to lose. Yet the ache proved me wrong.  Because even a borrowed love, it still felt real. I had no right to grieve, Yet I did. Because even if you belonged to someone else, the pieces of you I carried,  were enough to shatter me.

Between The Lines

We talk of skies,  Of sunsets,  Of weathered days and paper wings. You laugh, I smile, and the moment stays -  Then softly slips, and drifts away. You lean in close, but never near. Your words are warm, but never clear. I walk beside you, not behind. Yet still a step outside your mind.  I thought I saw a little spark. A light that flickered in the dark. But maybe I just dreamed too loud,  mistook your smile among the crowd.  Though I wish for something more,  I never ask, you never show. We live in light that almost shines -  A love that hides between the lines.   

Fragments of Blame

I was never a villain. I was the mirror you couldn't stand to look into - so you shattered me instead -  not because I was cruel,  but because I reflected what you tried to bury. I was never out to harm,  only to heal what I could,  and walk away from what I couldn't. You saw defiance. I saw dignity. You called me cold. I was just tired of burning for people, who never brought warmth in return. So call me what you will. Twist the tale to suit your comfort. But deep down, you know -  I was never the enemy. Just the echo of everything, you didn't want to face.

Unspoken feelings

When one door closes,  sometimes it slams. Leaves a bruise i wasn't ready for. Leaves me staring at my own hands,  wondering what i was holding - and why it wasn't enough to stay. But endings are sly,  they rarely show their second half. Because when one goes -  another comes. A softer voice. A moment that reminds me that,  I am still capable of laughing,  without flinching. When love leaves -  let it. When the trail ends - rest. Because when one goes,  another always comes. If only i stay open,  long enough,  to let it in. You came,  We lived in the almost -  a space too warm to be strangers, too cold to be love. But i stayed there. Whatever this is,  it feels like moonlight in motion - quiet,  golden,  unspoken. There are no titles here,  no timelines,  no answers. Just they way your eyes find mine -  in a crowded room,  and everything else fades. We meet in moments -  stolen,  sac...

WHAT THEY DONT TELL YOU ABOUT COMING HOME

They don't tell you that coming back, hurts more than the blisters ever did.  That silence hits different when it's not wrapped in muds and stars. I finished the trail,  and everyone congratulates -  But no one hears the echo in my chest,  where the wind used to live. I try to plug back in -  to friends, to dinner plans, to the 9-to-5 grind,  but nothing quite fits. My body is here, but my soul is still somewhere between mile marker and that ridge,  where i first realized i was alive. They asked, "How was it, was it fun?" I smile and nod,  but how do i speak of sky and mountains? Of rain that cleanses more than skin? Of finding strength so deep within? I miss the dirt under my nails. The way my skin smelled like the sky. The way my thoughts got quite -  not because they disappeared,  but because nature listened without needing to reply. I left the trail with dirt on my skin,  and your name still stuck between my lungs. A different...

Evening Thoughts

Hi lovely readers, its pretty amazing how my life wasn't that bad. Yes i agree, there were times when things went all wrong but when you recall back, your happy moments outweigh your bad moments, that is something you should be thankful for. Yesterday, my friends and i had a chit chat about our past life and what are we going to do with our future. It suddenly became a very emotional session where we felt like tears streaming down our cheeks and we were out of breath. Being a doctor is such an honor job in this world if you really do what a doctor supposed to do. But i don't know why, I felt like i don't rank a doctor as high as i ranked it when i was in the secondary school. Nevertheless, i still you know, still living in this medical field because doing something good is what I search for in this world. Helping people is the best thing you can do. Life in a med-school wasn't easy. I almost give up so many times. Every day is so packed with things and its like you ...